


These Tricks Aren't For Kids

by Ghoul1gan



Category: Bandom, Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Asphyxiation, Awsten + Travis' Slumber Party Podcast Submission, Bad Dreams, Breakfast Cereal is Actually Evil, Choking, Crazy-O's, Dark Humor, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Nightmares, Non-Erotic, Someone Eats Carpet, Violent, Weird, What Have I Done, cheerios
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23894950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghoul1gan/pseuds/Ghoul1gan
Summary: Geoff's day starts off as any other normal day. Get dressed, eat breakfast, and finish it all off with a taste of the dining room carpet. Normal, right?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	These Tricks Aren't For Kids

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this at the behest of my partner after mentioning an intrusive thought I had while listening to Crave by Waterparks. So here we are. I hope Awsten or Travis run across this, but if not, it was a hell of a lot of fun to write.
> 
> P.S. Texts are in block quotes, and within these block quotes Awsten is in bold, Geoff is in italics.

_Ping! Ping!_

Groaning, Geoff rolled over and blindly felt around for his phone’s charger cable. Groping blindly, he felt the worn out rubber cord. Tugging it down, Geoff caught the phone in a clammy, sleep-stiffened hand.

With a few quick swipes, he was checking his messages. Of course they were from Awsten. Who else would they be from this early in the morning?

What time was it? Geoff glanced up and saw that it was half past eleven. Maybe Awsten wasn’t the madman in this situation.

> **Are you awake?**
> 
> **Hey. I’m coming over**
> 
> _alright._

Half awake, Geoff crawled out of his sheets, checking things off of his mental checklist as he made his way to the kitchen.

_Clean underwear?_ Check.  
_Phone charging?_ Check.  
_Breakfast?_ Working on it.

His stomach growled in response as he padded down his hallway. Clumsily, he got past his dining area, fumbling for the boxes of cereal on top of the fridge. 

The box of Cheerios he grabbed didn’t feel quite right. It was heavier than he remembered. Maybe he had grabbed a new box prematurely. 

A quick glance proved that he in fact, only had one box of cereal currently, and it was in his hands. 

Geoff gave a quick shrug before grabbing milk and a bowl. He wanted to eat something before Awsten showed up, seeing as how the songwriter had a sort of chaotic and forgetful aura. Not that Geoff really minded it terribly, he just lost track of a day when he spent it with Awsten. The only cure he’d found for that was sitting down with Awsten and planning, and that took the one once of forethought he had. It was just easier to prepare for the potential consequences sooner rather than later.

The first bite of cereal confirmed one thing. These were not Cheerios. Cheerios don’t taste like a blend of cardboard and an acid trip. Geoff took another spoonful to try and pin down the flavor better. The more time he spent trying to decipher what he was tasting, the weirder he felt just sitting in his chair. 

Was someone watching him? Why did it feel like his flesh was trying to slip off of his bones? 

Geoff glanced up and immediately dropped his spoon with a wet clatter. There in his dining room window, was the hunched figure of a greasy looking man climbing into his house. Was that window even open before?

The grimy looking stranger was licking his teeth in an incredibly discomforting manner, it felt obsessive and predatory in ways Geoff had never felt before. How does someone make you feel like scrambling away on all fours with just one slimy look?

Not only did it feel like this strange shadow in his dining room was beaming strange urges into his head, but he had somehow started eating more of the cereal without realizing it.

He felt like his guts were squirming to get out of his body. Like he had a belly full of angry snakes, writhing within. Geoff’s flesh felt like a warm wet blanket, trying to slip from his shoulders and down his back.

Everything was too hot, vibrating out of reach, barely within his visual spectrum. It felt like there were two eyes in each of his sockets, rolling around of their own accord. They wouldn’t let him look at the strange man now slinking across his dining table, still staring daggers into his skull. The vinyl cloth under his hands and clothed knees was crinkling softly, pushing Geoff’s bowl of cereal closer and closer to the edge of the table. He made no moves to stop the tumbling box of cereal.

One of Geoff’s wandering eyes flitted to look at the fallen box’s design. A vibrant red field with vibrant yellow letters smashing the name ‘Crazy-O’s’ into his cornea. Maybe it felt so physical because he had actually fallen out of his chair and landed face first on the box.

The true shock was the feeling of wiry carpet digging into his intensely sensitive skin. Was their carpet in his mouth? Yep. That was gross, dusty carpet on his tongue.

There was this awful soft grinding and ripping noise near his head. Geoff glanced over with the one eye still obeying him and saw the horrifying shadow of a man, with the horrible teeth, scratching and digging at his carpeted floor. Was he using a fork he had brought himself? Or was he borrowing one of Geoff’s? Now all Geoff could think about was the taste of expired sunshine in his mouth, and where the strange man’s fork came from.

More of that wonderful synthetic fiber was being shoveled into Geoff’s mouth, and it took every bit of his willpower to not inhale it and start choking immediately. He couldn’t swallow, and for some ungodly reason this creepy character was shoving more carpet into his mouth faster than he could spit it out. Forkful after forkful of carpet was being crammed into Geoff’s mouth, and at some point his arms had been pinned down, and he had been turned to lay on his back.

The dam broke and Geoff started spluttering. He couldn’t get anything down or coughed back up, and he started kicking his legs frantically, trying to get the man off of him so he could sit up. He tried to get more air to cough again, only managing to get carpet breaching further, crawling down his throat. Geoff gave a desperate silent wheeze, before choking more carpet down.

Geoff couldn’t be bothered to have any spatial awareness anymore. The house he was in fell out of view, and all he could feel was the crushing weight on his chest and what felt like tree roots struggling into his lungs.

Somewhere in the distance he heard chiming. A familiar tune through the sound of his own vocal cords creaking dryly. A voice rang through his house, caressing what little sliver of hope Geoff had left. It was Awsten! Maybe he’d find Geoff in time. Maybe he’d be able to get help quick enough. Maybe-

Geoff realized the tinny chiming and his friend’s voice had restarted. Like a synthetic, mocking recreation on a loop. Something was wrong… something was very strange about this whole thing. It wasn’t progressing properly. Who knew someone would have a complaint to file about their own death throes. But here Geoff was.

Awsten wasn’t here to help, and Geoff wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold on anymore. His four eyes felt like they were going to roll right out of his head, and bounce off of his cheeks. His tongue was so stressed he was pretty sure he was doing a combination of dry heaving and cramping right about now.

Geoff could feel the insides of his face swelling so hard he could almost hear the sound of the blood rushing around his face. He could barely hear over the rush of panic and the creaking of his own tendons and ligaments, but that familiar chiming started again. This time much louder, like it had moved to stand next to his head and mock him. If Geoff could just… could just get one of his eyes to glance up for a split second.

Whatever it was, it looked an awful lot like Awsten. Initially Geoff was excited. He could literally see Awsten next to him, Geoff was saved… right? But this Awsten didn’t hold himself the same. The glasses were right, and so was the tacky sweater, but Awsten wasn’t holding himself like normal. He didn’t seem like a confident coiled spring, he wasn’t rushing to help Geoff. He was just staring aimlessly, like a cruel cat pondering it’s toy’s demise.

Geoff squirmed weakly and shook his head in denial as the strange Awsten touched Geoff’s face with a disinterested grimace, prodding the wad of carpet fibers in Geoff’s mouth with disgust. “What a _shame_.” he laughed. Not-Awsten’s hand trailed down to Geoff’s corded and deeply engorged throat. “Looks uncomfy, pal.”

The strange Awsten dragged a finger down the column of Geoff’s throat before reeling back and giving him a harsh throat chop with outstretched fingers.

Awsten crouched down to whisper hoarsely into Geoff’s ear with a sneer stretched across his face, “Tell Awsten, ‘Felony Steve says hello!’” The strange man, Steve, stood and leaned over Geoff’s black and blue face, waving cheekily and turning away to walk back towards Geoff’s room. 

Geoff watched the figure disappear into the inky blank of the shadows for as long as he could before he simply blacked out, spots crowding his vision until he could no longer think.

With a startled gasp, Geoff sat up finally. He felt like he had just breached the surface of a deep black lake. He didn’t have carpet in his mouth, his throat wasn’t the home of a fabric octopus, and with some effort he could breath normally.

He blindly groped at the sheet over his head and coughed violently. The familiar tune played once again, shocking Geoff with a sudden pang of adrenaline and deep seeded fear. Had his dream followed him? He looked around fervently, spotting his phone and realizing he knew the song playing.

Geoff was in his bedroom, under a tangled mess of sheets. His phone was happily chirping Hawaii (Stay Awake), and this all felt like some cruel joke he had accidentally pulled on himself. He couldn’t shake the awful feeling of the dream, like he had been physically touched and tainted by the images his mind had revealed to him.

The sleep addled man grabbed his phone, unplugging it and swiping quickly, not unlike the way he had in the beginning of his nightmare. He shut off his alarm and immediately opened up his texts to Awsten. The real Awsten. He had something to get off of his chest as fast as he could manage.

> _Felony Steve says hello_

The three dots swam under his message almost immediately. Geoff didn’t bother waiting to read Awsten’s response. The heavy wait of his dream had fallen from his shoulders now. The pair of eyes boring into his spine was gone, and he felt he had finished what he needed to.

His purpose had been fulfilled.


End file.
